suicide

have you ever thought about killing yourself? i have. for many, many years i thought that was totally normal. it wasn’t until my life got much better that i noticed the absence of this soothing thought: to just disappear myself … now, when that kneejerk image arises occasionally, i know it’s a warning sign: something’s not right.

i grew up thinking that suicide was a completely normal way to die. some people die of cancer, others of old age, and others of suicide. the good thing is that this normalized suicide. the bad thing is that this normalized suicide.

so … let me try this …

let’s imagine you’re thinking of ending it all. you just can’t think of another way out of that thing that just seems to crush you. debts, a broken heart, a feeling of uselessness, terrible loneliness, a sense of being trapped …

how do you feel? overhwelmed, right?

can you relax just a tiny bit of yourself? just a bit … maybe your hands … maybe the way you sit on the chair …

here’s a strange question.

how does your brain feel?

yes, feel that brain. just for a moment.

sometimes it feels like it works well, doesn’t it? maybe that was a long time ago. but there probably was a time when it felt like it worked pretty well. maybe when you played with that dog. oh – dogs aren’t your thing. sorry. maybe – maybe it was when you hung out with your buddy when you were six … can you do me a favour, look for a time when your brain worked ok?

thanks.

so … i wonder … how does your brain feel right now, compared to that time when it worked well? is there a difference?

there is?

it feels a little – weirder, doesn’t it? maybe a bit cloudy? or perhaps it’s a just a bit noisy in there.

can you do me, and yourself a big favour?

i know life feels awful right now. i’d really like it, though, if you could wait with your decision to destroy yourself. please wait with that decision until your brain feels better.

if you don’t know how to make your brain feel better, stick around, please. i have a bunch of ideas we could try. and i know people who have way more ideas. they’ve worked, too. as terry wise, a woman who survived suicide, says “there are other ways to overcome pain.”

7 thoughts on “suicide

  1. Craig

    I just discovered this website, which is a wonderful, heart filled resource. The honesty and concern in your post is poignant, and the glimpse into the mind of suicide offered in the video clip is very touching.

  2. Panic Guy Kevin

    I really fear death. I don’t have the courage to suicide. Maybe different people view death differently.

    To me , it’s the things that I fear the most.

  3. A. Decker

    The only times suicide has ever entered the forefront of my mind, drugs were involved. Fortunately they wear off, but ’til then, I kinda hung onto “This too shall pass.”

  4. MBT Bota de mujer

    I used to be recommended this blog through my cousin. I’m not certain whether this put up is written by way of him as no one else understand such specified about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thank you! I like your blog!

  5. Therapist Website

    It is very honest of you to admit that once in your life you attempted to commit suicide. But it is more pleasing and awe-inspiring to know that you have gone through all those emotional turmoil but still made it in spite of. Kudos!

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