Comments on: family and money http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/ making lives better, making better lives Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:45:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: isabella mori http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-327352 isabella mori Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:37:50 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/#comment-327352 a very interesting response, rudolf! i'm impressed (bowled over?) by how much thought you've put into this. i will let nancy know of it, see what she thinks. a very interesting response, rudolf! i’m impressed (bowled over?) by how much thought you’ve put into this. i will let nancy know of it, see what she thinks.

]]> By: Rudolf http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-327310 Rudolf Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:00:19 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/#comment-327310 I am not a pro-fessional counsellor. But if buddy boy had come to me I would tell him that his money was his. He had used it the best way he knew how, and his siblings had used their inheritance the way they wanted to, and that this is great! It doesn't matter if they went on a holiday with it, bought new clothes, cars, or just ate out a lot. Jeff shouldn't have to hide his legacy, nor should he feel ashamed that he made an investment of it and that it grew into something larger. Furthermore, he doesn't have to go into detail about how sizable his investment has become. If he can learn to feel comfortable with his own success, and this is his own work, which he has to engage himself in, he may feel comfortable inviting sibs over for dinner now and again. It doesn't have to be every month, maybe every 2 months. See what happens at these gettogethers, and if all goes fairly well, keep them up. If not, he could invite them only 3 times a year. I would tend to agree that the problems he may feel are under the iceberg are deeper than those associated with having money. I don't, but if I did feel comfortable displaying my wealth or possessions, I would aim for displaying whatever wealth I wanted to. That is the right of the one who has attained or earned it. If he wanted to go further in making his siblings comfortable he should engage them in a conversation regarding what they did with theirs. Acknowledge that they did things that were important to them, and that is great! Jeff should let go of any results that occur because of this interchange, particularly if as he surmises, they will be jealous of his achievements. If there are black or gray sheep in the family that is OK. No need for him to judge them for what he may perceive as them having wasted their inheritance. I don't think that he should make himself feel responsible for the life experience that may have resulted in their so-called "squandering" of Papa's money. If he still feels he wants to help out, he can, in limited ways. Perhaps he wants to help them in some way that requires his money or expertise. However, he should probably not help them start businesses. Then he would be wasting his Papa's money. He may want to keep familial relations going and therefore he should just keep the topic of conversation of subjects that are non-triggering. They may bring up the fact that he has more than they, but he can acknowledge that he feels good about it and them direct the conversation to their other interests, their own children, holidays, activities, and so forth. At times he may find himself saying, "No, that is not something I talk about." If they won't listen he can kick them out of the house. Bar them, so-to-speak, for a few weeks until they shape up, come to see things his way. I am not a pro-fessional counsellor. But if buddy boy had come to me I would tell him that his money was his. He had used it the best way he knew how, and his siblings had used their inheritance the way they wanted to, and that this is great! It doesn’t matter if they went on a holiday with it, bought new clothes, cars, or just ate out a lot.

Jeff shouldn’t have to hide his legacy, nor should he feel ashamed that he made an investment of it and that it grew into something larger. Furthermore, he doesn’t have to go into detail about how sizable his investment has become. If he can learn to feel comfortable with his own success, and this is his own work, which he has to engage himself in, he may feel comfortable inviting sibs over for dinner now and again. It doesn’t have to be every month, maybe every 2 months. See what happens at these gettogethers, and if all goes fairly well, keep them up. If not, he could invite them only 3 times a year.

I would tend to agree that the problems he may feel are under the iceberg are deeper than those associated with having money.

I don’t, but if I did feel comfortable displaying my wealth or possessions, I would aim for displaying whatever wealth I wanted to. That is the right of the one who has attained or earned it. If he wanted to go further in making his siblings comfortable he should engage them in a conversation regarding what they did with theirs. Acknowledge that they did things that were important to them, and that is great!

Jeff should let go of any results that occur because of this interchange, particularly if as he surmises, they will be jealous of his achievements. If there are black or gray sheep in the family that is OK. No need for him to judge them for what he may perceive as them having wasted their inheritance. I don’t think that he should make himself feel responsible for the life experience that may have resulted in their so-called “squandering” of Papa’s money.

If he still feels he wants to help out, he can, in limited ways. Perhaps he wants to help them in some way that requires his money or expertise. However, he should probably not help them start businesses. Then he would be wasting his Papa’s money.

He may want to keep familial relations going and therefore he should just keep the topic of conversation of subjects that are non-triggering. They may bring up the fact that he has more than they, but he can acknowledge that he feels good about it and them direct the conversation to their other interests, their own children, holidays, activities, and so forth. At times he may find himself saying, “No, that is not something I talk about.”

If they won’t listen he can kick them out of the house. Bar them, so-to-speak, for a few weeks until they shape up, come to see things his way.

]]> By: isabella mori http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-324526 isabella mori Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:08:11 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/#comment-324526 oh, i do this once in a while. probably not often enough. so ... what would YOU say to this person? oh, i do this once in a while. probably not often enough.

so … what would YOU say to this person?

]]> By: Rudolf http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/comment-page-1/#comment-317133 Rudolf Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:21:26 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/family-and-money/#comment-317133 This is very cool. What would you say to.... How long have you been doing this? that is, showing examples of a therapy sessions. I think it is an excellent idea. This is very cool. What would you say to…. How long have you been doing this? that is, showing examples of a therapy sessions. I think it is an excellent idea.

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