change therapy

she opens the door.
“laura hapley?”
“yes …. ?”
“and wally hapley?”
“yes. and you are … ?”
he is 6’6”, broad shouldered, dressed in thick leather from boots to gloves.
“could i speak to mr. hapley, as well, please?”
“he is busy right now. what is this about?” she glances towards a door in the back.
he produces two [...]

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each person can use the mantra, ‘i am loving awareness.’ just repeat this and become loving awareness. then we share that loving awareness with all others.
ram dass
“just repeat this and become …” – these words by one of my favourite writers sound so simple. and they are.  (btw, it’s another quote from [...]

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in november, i told you about a book i was reading, be the change: how meditation can transform you and the world by ed and deb shapiro.  in the next few days, i’d like to present you with a few more excerpts from it.  the last part of the book, entitled “transforming us transforms the [...]

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as you can see, i haven’t been a very busy posting beaver lately.  i’ve been watching my energy level and need to put some things on the back burner.  every morning i come up with all kinds of wonderful ideas for blog posts but by the time i find a moment to post something, there’s [...]

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“my parents should have never let me go to that camp for a whole two weeks when i was six.”
“i should have taken better care of my hamster.”
“my boyfriend dumped me for my cousin. i’ll never forgive her for that.”
“i wish my wife wouldn’t have talked me into buying that honda. the ford [...]

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a little while ago, a paper was published that suggests that positive thinking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be:
positive self-statements are widely believed to boost mood and self-esteem, yet their effectiveness has not been demonstrated. we examined the contrary prediction that positive self-statements can be ineffective or even harmful. a survey study confirmed that [...]

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grief is not something that i have a lot experience with as a counsellor, so it was interesting to read through psychologist roberta temes’ solace – finding your way through grief and learning to live again. the book’s no-nonsense, empowering tone is set right in the first paragraph of the introduction:
you are experiencing this [...]

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a few weeks ago we had a conversation about acceptance. one of the things we discussed there was this:
acceptance is about the past not the future …
a common trap that we fall into in our thinking is when we jump without reflection between what is and what should (ought) be. in philosophy, that has [...]

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i’m thankful for
the smell of the blanket my daughter likes to use on the sofa
the dimples in my older grandson’s cheeks
the sweet little voice of my younger grandson
the particular shade of purple of the asters on my front yard
i like thinking about the specifics, somehow it gives my gratitude more texture and colour.
the way my [...]

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last month we had a conversation about acceptance, and i’d like to continue it.
evan said, “i think changing the world can be valuable, too.”
maybe there is no either/or between acceptance and making changes.
to accept comes from the latin, meaning to receive (as in “UPS delivered a parcel for you, and i accepted it”.) [...]

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as you know, questions have a special place in my heart (see this post on encouraging questions, for example.)
as i was preparing for a little workshop i facilitated today on solution focused coaching and counselling, i realized that my first discovery of the power of questions was not back in 1999, when i first really [...]

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soft, these sounds
steal again into my heart.
how’d he do it?
he played on the piano
like he knew all about our souls.
this is a little tanka – a short japanese poem – i wrote after listening to the CD of the wonderful sounds craig addy created when my friend and soulmate haedy were lying under the piano.
yes, [...]

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a few semi random musings on parents …
through my parents, a lot of challenges came my way. but through them, i also learned how to build the tools to overcome those challenges. for example, creativity was highly encouraged.
parents irrevocably shape most of the way we view the world. some of that can [...]

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like many of you, i am a victim of procrastination. procrastination has done horrible things to me. it has robbed me of many hours of sleep. it has made me feel less than, a loser. at the hands of procrastination, i have experienced embarrassment and hopelessness.
that’s a true story.
and.
or.
why not make [...]

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once in a while, the good people from FSB associates send me a book for review. usually, i read the book from front to cover and then write about it.
this time, i’ve decided to do it differently and put the book to a test. the chapters test.
you know when you go to chapters (or whatever [...]

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