Comments on: recovering from anorexia: 10 activities http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/ making lives better, making better lives Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:45:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Nature http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-701400 Nature Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:39:52 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-701400 Hey Jessy, It's been a long while since I checked back on this page, but I just want to give you a big hug and let you know that you are not alone!!! Lots of girls (and guys although we don't see too many pop on by here) have gone through what you have. We have been at the same pages where you have been. We're all like a big family here, and you are VERY welcome to go check the pages on the top, Anorexia Talk (whether it be one, two, or three) group to go communicate with lots of other girls there who have been through what you have been through. I have work soon so I cannot write a long response, but I hope you do check the other pages out! The people there are really amazing, :D. Hey Jessy,

It’s been a long while since I checked back on this page, but I just want to give you a big hug and let you know that you are not alone!!!

Lots of girls (and guys although we don’t see too many pop on by here) have gone through what you have. We have been at the same pages where you have been. We’re all like a big family here, and you are VERY welcome to go check the pages on the top, Anorexia Talk (whether it be one, two, or three) group to go communicate with lots of other girls there who have been through what you have been through.

I have work soon so I cannot write a long response, but I hope you do check the other pages out! The people there are really amazing, :D .

]]> By: Jessy-Australia http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-701041 Jessy-Australia Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:46:49 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-701041 Ive suffered from Anorexia for the past 12 months and have just in the last 2 weeks given up the denial and acknowledged that i have a problem that I am unable to fix myself. For 12 months i have been supplied will all kinds of support, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, naturopaths (you name it) but the entire time i wasnt really using the support or wanting it. 2 weeks ago it felt like a switch flicked and i could see just for a brief moment what everyone else was seeing. i looked in the mirror and saw a very sick girl, it felt like i had been blind folded the entire time. Ever since my realization ive been extremely stressed, and experiencing severe anxiety/panick attacks where i get so worked up my body is covered with sweat, my heart races, my hands shake and i start hallucinating that the world is spinning and pushing down on my chest. ive started seeing a professor and a nutritionist at an eating disorder clinic in Bondi (Australia) and so far they have been amazing. I didnt know how difficult the recovery process would be and im feeling like im not strong enough to beat it. like alot of others in this thread ive started 'pretend bingeing' late at night when everyone is in bed. I get together a whole range of really unhealthy foods, cake, chocolate, cereal etc and i pretend to binge - meaning i fill my mouth with the foods and chew but spit it out before i swallow. this usually lasts all night, ill pack all of the chewed foods up at about 4am, purge the soft drink i have drunk because i feel that even though i didnt swallow the food some may have gotten down to my stomach. This is a new process for me, its costing a lot, sometimes i even steal my parents card to buy the food and i hide bags and bags of chewed food in my room until i can throw them out without my parents noticing. I cant eat during the day, i dont ever feel hungry and ideas of eating during the day leave me borderline suicidal. I would really love any tips anyone has for getting out of this late night binge/purge routine if they have gone through something similar because right now the chance to binge at night seems to be all i look forward to. i stop myself from eating during the day because i want to save myself for my night time binge. Another thing im worried about is that ever since i acknowledged my problem and got the motivation to get the help i feel as though the anorexic inside of me is fighting back. almost like the more i try to pull away the more it digs its heels in. i can see that im making more rules around eating, stricter rules, more severe consequences for slip ups and even some of my old rules and habits are starting to creep back into my mind. things like laxative use, nurofen plus (i took about 16 capsules everyday for almost 8 months because they would suppress my appetite and blur my mind up so that i was able to go out in public and face people. also so i could enjoy a couple of hours of stillness in my head - im sure everyone here knows that being anorexic means having your brain scream at you ever second of every day, even in your dreams) Im not really sure what questions to ask i just know that im feeling really lost at the moment. this battle is much harder than i had anticipated and i truly feel that i cant do it. i dont feel strong enough. it feels like all ive had for the last 12 months is this eating disorder, its consumed me and if someone takes it away im afraid ill have nothing. If anyone has any stories of their own that they can offer or if anyone has experienced something similar id love your input. i need to know that im not the only one, that im not just some crazy person and that like other before me, i will win this never ending battle. Thankyou so much for this thread of comments, it really does offer so much to people who really need and deserve this kind of support. xoxo Ive suffered from Anorexia for the past 12 months and have just in the last 2 weeks given up the denial and acknowledged that i have a problem that I am unable to fix myself. For 12 months i have been supplied will all kinds of support, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, naturopaths (you name it) but the entire time i wasnt really using the support or wanting it. 2 weeks ago it felt like a switch flicked and i could see just for a brief moment what everyone else was seeing. i looked in the mirror and saw a very sick girl, it felt like i had been blind folded the entire time. Ever since my realization ive been extremely stressed, and experiencing severe anxiety/panick attacks where i get so worked up my body is covered with sweat, my heart races, my hands shake and i start hallucinating that the world is spinning and pushing down on my chest. ive started seeing a professor and a nutritionist at an eating disorder clinic in Bondi (Australia) and so far they have been amazing. I didnt know how difficult the recovery process would be and im feeling like im not strong enough to beat it. like alot of others in this thread ive started ‘pretend bingeing’ late at night when everyone is in bed. I get together a whole range of really unhealthy foods, cake, chocolate, cereal etc and i pretend to binge – meaning i fill my mouth with the foods and chew but spit it out before i swallow. this usually lasts all night, ill pack all of the chewed foods up at about 4am, purge the soft drink i have drunk because i feel that even though i didnt swallow the food some may have gotten down to my stomach. This is a new process for me, its costing a lot, sometimes i even steal my parents card to buy the food and i hide bags and bags of chewed food in my room until i can throw them out without my parents noticing. I cant eat during the day, i dont ever feel hungry and ideas of eating during the day leave me borderline suicidal. I would really love any tips anyone has for getting out of this late night binge/purge routine if they have gone through something similar because right now the chance to binge at night seems to be all i look forward to. i stop myself from eating during the day because i want to save myself for my night time binge.

Another thing im worried about is that ever since i acknowledged my problem and got the motivation to get the help i feel as though the anorexic inside of me is fighting back. almost like the more i try to pull away the more it digs its heels in. i can see that im making more rules around eating, stricter rules, more severe consequences for slip ups and even some of my old rules and habits are starting to creep back into my mind. things like laxative use, nurofen plus (i took about 16 capsules everyday for almost 8 months because they would suppress my appetite and blur my mind up so that i was able to go out in public and face people. also so i could enjoy a couple of hours of stillness in my head – im sure everyone here knows that being anorexic means having your brain scream at you ever second of every day, even in your dreams)

Im not really sure what questions to ask i just know that im feeling really lost at the moment. this battle is much harder than i had anticipated and i truly feel that i cant do it. i dont feel strong enough. it feels like all ive had for the last 12 months is this eating disorder, its consumed me and if someone takes it away im afraid ill have nothing.

If anyone has any stories of their own that they can offer or if anyone has experienced something similar id love your input. i need to know that im not the only one, that im not just some crazy person and that like other before me, i will win this never ending battle.

Thankyou so much for this thread of comments, it really does offer so much to people who really need and deserve this kind of support.

xoxo

]]> By: Cara http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-694742 Cara Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:17:51 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-694742 awake at 3am worrying about the yogurt i just ate. I have gained 3lbs everyones really happy. I like it when people are happy and not worried. I hate anorexia, I've had it for 10 years and only just realised in these last few months how bad it is. facing this demon is harder than I thought. No wonder my boyfriend had enough. I don't know why I'm posting this - I'm finding it hard 2day :( awake at 3am worrying about the yogurt i just ate.
I have gained 3lbs everyones really happy.
I like it when people are happy and not worried.

I hate anorexia, I’ve had it for 10 years and only just realised in these last few months how bad it is.
facing this demon is harder than I thought. No wonder my boyfriend had enough.

I don’t know why I’m posting this – I’m finding it hard 2day :(

]]> By: Melissa http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-691902 Melissa Fri, 05 Feb 2010 08:30:35 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-691902 Aliza- You deserve to get better!!!!!!!!!! you have worked so hard, so hard gighting this stupid disorder! Anorexia is talking when you think the weather is a sign, its NOT a sign. Weather is unpredictable and uncontrollable. The disorder doesn't want to let you go, so its LYING to you. Tellling you that you don't deserve to see a counselor and get better. It wants to stay in your head forever!!!!!!!!! Forever is a LOOOOONG time. Do you want to have anorexia forever, never get better, never knbow what happiness is???? The sound of silence in your head??? Being yourself and discovering the REAL you are the best feelings ever. Ana wants you to suffer, so it will lie to you to keep you miserable. It is your job to recognize the lying voice and tell it to SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! You want to really smile, laugh with all your heart, be with friends and not thinking of food and calories, to just be NORMAL. Thats possible, I found it after 5 years. 5 years of misery and pain and wanting to die. There were times where I held the razor in my hand juyst tracing the vain up and down my wrist wondering if life is really wortrh the PAIN of recovery. Well you know what, IT IS., There's so much more to life, so much more. Keep pushing through these rough patches hun, life can only get more enjoyable. YOU CAN DO IT! El- Do ont, and I mean DO NOT focus on numbers! The numbers are scary, very high and very scary. Focus on happiness. On feeling a weight lift off your shoulders and gaining the love of life back! Do you want to only feel sadness and pain and misery? Nobody does, we all are wonderful girls who are loving, generous, intelligent, talented, and so much more. You deserve to live a life free of an eating disorder. Before the doctors say numbers ask them upfronbt not too, say you feel unprepared at this time to gear numbers but want to get better and be happy. They will listen, mine did. It's all about YOU, recovery is all about YOU and what YOU want. If your stomach growls, try a small snack or meal. How about yogurt or cream cheese or a handful of trail mix? I say thhose because they have protein, which makes you feel less hungry for a longer period of time than water based foods, are very good for you, and do not make you feel too full or bloated just content or ok. Seriously, its soooooooo hard to eat sometimes. Emotions have tight controls over us, and so does stress. But you have to remind yourself you are HUMAN and humans need nutrients and energy in their body to live. You deserve to live, so keep on fighting for your friends, family, and most importantly yourself! Aliza- You deserve to get better!!!!!!!!!! you have worked so hard, so hard gighting this stupid disorder! Anorexia is talking when you think the weather is a sign, its NOT a sign. Weather is unpredictable and uncontrollable. The disorder doesn’t want to let you go, so its LYING to you. Tellling you that you don’t deserve to see a counselor and get better. It wants to stay in your head forever!!!!!!!!! Forever is a LOOOOONG time. Do you want to have anorexia forever, never get better, never knbow what happiness is???? The sound of silence in your head??? Being yourself and discovering the REAL you are the best feelings ever. Ana wants you to suffer, so it will lie to you to keep you miserable. It is your job to recognize the lying voice and tell it to SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! You want to really smile, laugh with all your heart, be with friends and not thinking of food and calories, to just be NORMAL. Thats possible, I found it after 5 years. 5 years of misery and pain and wanting to die. There were times where I held the razor in my hand juyst tracing the vain up and down my wrist wondering if life is really wortrh the PAIN of recovery. Well you know what, IT IS., There’s so much more to life, so much more. Keep pushing through these rough patches hun, life can only get more enjoyable. YOU CAN DO IT!

El- Do ont, and I mean DO NOT focus on numbers! The numbers are scary, very high and very scary. Focus on happiness. On feeling a weight lift off your shoulders and gaining the love of life back! Do you want to only feel sadness and pain and misery? Nobody does, we all are wonderful girls who are loving, generous, intelligent, talented, and so much more. You deserve to live a life free of an eating disorder. Before the doctors say numbers ask them upfronbt not too, say you feel unprepared at this time to gear numbers but want to get better and be happy. They will listen, mine did. It’s all about YOU, recovery is all about YOU and what YOU want. If your stomach growls, try a small snack or meal. How about yogurt or cream cheese or a handful of trail mix? I say thhose because they have protein, which makes you feel less hungry for a longer period of time than water based foods, are very good for you, and do not make you feel too full or bloated just content or ok. Seriously, its soooooooo hard to eat sometimes. Emotions have tight controls over us, and so does stress. But you have to remind yourself you are HUMAN and humans need nutrients and energy in their body to live. You deserve to live, so keep on fighting for your friends, family, and most importantly yourself!

]]> By: El http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-691852 El Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:53:20 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-691852 Thank you very much for replying back to me, Jordy, It makes me feel good to know that someone out there understands how I feel. Sometimes it feels like its me against the world and I'm always fighting back. I honestly don't think I need to gain more weight, I'm absolutely terrfied that THEY (my doctors and therapists) want me to get up to 115 lbs. That's absoutely crazy and I know I can't do it. I won't. I'm trying to get better but I think its mostly because everyone else is forcing me to. It's not like I can go back to starving myself with so many people watching me all the time. I just feel so hopeless somtimes. It's great that I'm not so tired or cold all the time but it's also scary to actually have my appetite back. I feel guilty if my stomach growls, I feel so angry at myself. I just cant seem to see that way othes see me. What can I do? .-= El´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.moritherapy.org/article/a-song-for-anorexia/" rel="nofollow">a song for anorexia</a> =-. Thank you very much for replying back to me, Jordy, It makes me feel good to know that someone out there understands how I feel. Sometimes it feels like its me against the world and I’m always fighting back. I honestly don’t think I need to gain more weight, I’m absolutely terrfied that THEY (my doctors and therapists) want me to get up to 115 lbs. That’s absoutely crazy and I know I can’t do it. I won’t. I’m trying to get better but I think its mostly because everyone else is forcing me to. It’s not like I can go back to starving myself with so many people watching me all the time. I just feel so hopeless somtimes. It’s great that I’m not so tired or cold all the time but it’s also scary to actually have my appetite back. I feel guilty if my stomach growls, I feel so angry at myself. I just cant seem to see that way othes see me. What can I do?
El´s last blog ..a song for anorexia My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: jordy http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-691767 jordy Thu, 04 Feb 2010 08:29:12 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-691767 Hey El, I can completely relate to you. My lowest weight in the eighth grade was around yours, and I started panicking when I gained weight. It's okay. Statistically speaking, there's no possible way for you to be overweight. You're not even close. For me, it took a long time to realize that I'm happiest when I'm healthy. It took a long time for me to want to get better, and to take the chance to see what happened by increasing my food intake. Someone told me to just try, and if I didn't feel better, if I wasn't comfortable, I could stop eating and go back to the way things were. Honestly, I wasn't productive, and my life was going nowhere very fast. I didn't like being miserable and tired and cold all the time. When I realized I didn't like living that way, which was only about a month ago, I started eating. It still scares me, but I'm happy. Yesterday, I was smiling and giggly for no good reason, and I loved it. Whenever I start to freak out about eating now, I try to remember instances in which I was happy and healthy, and how depressed I was when I was unhealthy. It's a little piece of what works for me...I hope it helps you, too, even just a little bit. Stay strong, and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find happiness and health. Hey El,
I can completely relate to you. My lowest weight in the eighth grade was around yours, and I started panicking when I gained weight. It’s okay. Statistically speaking, there’s no possible way for you to be overweight. You’re not even close. For me, it took a long time to realize that I’m happiest when I’m healthy. It took a long time for me to want to get better, and to take the chance to see what happened by increasing my food intake. Someone told me to just try, and if I didn’t feel better, if I wasn’t comfortable, I could stop eating and go back to the way things were. Honestly, I wasn’t productive, and my life was going nowhere very fast. I didn’t like being miserable and tired and cold all the time. When I realized I didn’t like living that way, which was only about a month ago, I started eating. It still scares me, but I’m happy. Yesterday, I was smiling and giggly for no good reason, and I loved it. Whenever I start to freak out about eating now, I try to remember instances in which I was happy and healthy, and how depressed I was when I was unhealthy. It’s a little piece of what works for me…I hope it helps you, too, even just a little bit. Stay strong, and I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find happiness and health.

]]> By: El http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-691735 El Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:02:16 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-691735 I'm 15 yrs old, 5''5 and currently weigh 96 lbs., I'm recovering from anorexia but I'm still not sure I want to recover. I've been hospitalized twice already this year and had an eating disorder in 8th grade too. I feel like I don't need to gain anymore weight even though everyone else thinks I really need too. I feel sooooo huge, and disgusting. My lowest weight was 89 lbs. and that compared to now makes me feel like I'm a faliure. I'm afraid of relapsing again, but I'm evern more afraid of getting fat. What should I do? I’m 15 yrs old, 5”5 and currently weigh 96 lbs., I’m recovering from anorexia but I’m still not sure I want to recover. I’ve been hospitalized twice already this year and had an eating disorder in 8th grade too. I feel like I don’t need to gain anymore weight even though everyone else thinks I really need too. I feel sooooo huge, and disgusting. My lowest weight was 89 lbs. and that compared to now makes me feel like I’m a faliure. I’m afraid of relapsing again, but I’m evern more afraid of getting fat. What should I do?

]]> By: jordy http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-690971 jordy Mon, 01 Feb 2010 04:15:00 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-690971 You're very welcome...I hope you write again if you ever need more support. It can feel very lonely and isolated having anorexia, but you're far from alone. Sometimes I even have a hard time convincing myself that it's a real disease and that I'm not just inflicting it on myself. I try to remind myself that it is hellish and sad and lonely, and that no one would ever choose that. I'm glad you're getting help from friends and family. I've tried to steer clear of anyone who invalidates anorexia as an illness, and it has helped a lot. Just a bit of advice... Hope it helps :) And again, good luck You’re very welcome…I hope you write again if you ever need more support. It can feel very lonely and isolated having anorexia, but you’re far from alone. Sometimes I even have a hard time convincing myself that it’s a real disease and that I’m not just inflicting it on myself. I try to remind myself that it is hellish and sad and lonely, and that no one would ever choose that. I’m glad you’re getting help from friends and family. I’ve tried to steer clear of anyone who invalidates anorexia as an illness, and it has helped a lot. Just a bit of advice… Hope it helps :)
And again, good luck

]]> By: Cara http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-690908 Cara Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:29:05 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-690908 Aliyah and Jordy, Thanku so much for your lovely positive comments :) It is so nice to get it off my chest (so to speak) to people who understand the hell that is Anorexia. I have been reading lots and have a better understanding of how/why its developed and I kinda feel a bit 'normal' knowing I'm not the only one with this awful illness. I have felt so alone for years, but now I'm going to turn my life around with a little help from friends and family. Thankyou again. Much love and peace to you both xox Aliyah and Jordy, Thanku so much for your lovely positive comments :) It is so nice to get it off my chest (so to speak) to people who understand the hell that is Anorexia. I have been reading lots and have a better understanding of how/why its developed and I kinda feel a bit ‘normal’ knowing I’m not the only one with this awful illness. I have felt so alone for years, but now I’m going to turn my life around with a little help from friends and family. Thankyou again. Much love and peace to you both xox

]]> By: jordy http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/comment-page-4/#comment-690292 jordy Fri, 29 Jan 2010 08:07:44 +0000 http://www.moritherapy.org/article/10-things-anorexia-recovery/#comment-690292 I suffered from anorexia from 2004 to 2009. I just started to really recover in December, and I'm doing much better now. To complement what aliyah said towards cara's comment, I couldn't agree more. I know how hard it is to deal with obsessive thoughts every day.... It consumed my life from when I was 12 until I turned 18. While I'm only a month into recovery, please believe me when I say that you can recover cara. I was terrified that I would never be happy, whether I ate or not, but after starting to eat, everything has changed. I'm genuinely happy for the first time in years, and I'm at peace with myself. I no longer have obsessive arguments in my head over whether I ate too many calories, or didn't work out enough. I just eat when I'm hungry and work out to be healthy. (I know, I know, much easier said than done...but once you get the hang of it, it gradually becomes second nature.) It's such a relief not having to worry about food, and to just be able to enjoy it. I was really surprised by how much free time I had left in my day...I never realized how much time I spent researching and obsessing over food and calories. I'm not going to lie, I do have hard days, but they are becoming much further apart. Sometimes when I put on clothes or stand in front of a mirror, I have a hard time accepting the way I look (which, according to doctors, charts, and whatnot, I'm at a healthy weight), but it's getting easier to cope with. I try to find ways to feel happy and satisfied with my life that doesn't have to do with the way I look. So far, it's working. Honestly, I wish you the best of luck with a successful recovery. Take your time, and try not to worry about burdening others. I never in a million years thought I would be able to overcome this, but I did. I hope you can, too. I suffered from anorexia from 2004 to 2009. I just started to really recover in December, and I’m doing much better now. To complement what aliyah said towards cara’s comment, I couldn’t agree more. I know how hard it is to deal with obsessive thoughts every day…. It consumed my life from when I was 12 until I turned 18. While I’m only a month into recovery, please believe me when I say that you can recover cara. I was terrified that I would never be happy, whether I ate or not, but after starting to eat, everything has changed. I’m genuinely happy for the first time in years, and I’m at peace with myself. I no longer have obsessive arguments in my head over whether I ate too many calories, or didn’t work out enough. I just eat when I’m hungry and work out to be healthy. (I know, I know, much easier said than done…but once you get the hang of it, it gradually becomes second nature.) It’s such a relief not having to worry about food, and to just be able to enjoy it. I was really surprised by how much free time I had left in my day…I never realized how much time I spent researching and obsessing over food and calories. I’m not going to lie, I do have hard days, but they are becoming much further apart. Sometimes when I put on clothes or stand in front of a mirror, I have a hard time accepting the way I look (which, according to doctors, charts, and whatnot, I’m at a healthy weight), but it’s getting easier to cope with. I try to find ways to feel happy and satisfied with my life that doesn’t have to do with the way I look. So far, it’s working. Honestly, I wish you the best of luck with a successful recovery. Take your time, and try not to worry about burdening others. I never in a million years thought I would be able to overcome this, but I did. I hope you can, too.

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