anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia

This is a special new area for people who want to have a small, intimate place to discuss anorexia. It was born via the rather long comment section in an article here on this site about 10 activities that help with recovering from anorexia. I know there are other sites out there who are very good at helping people with anorexia talk to each other; Somethingfishy is the best example. I certainly don’t want to take away from sites like this; they’ve proven invaluable for people who are trying to overcome anorexia.

However, for those of you who want to stay here, I’d like to provide this space where you can talk.

Please be aware that this area is visible to anyone who cares to visit; if privacy is important to you, please use an alias.

This is a place of support and respect, a place for sharing your journey in recovering from anorexia. I will remove any comment that is disrespectful or unsupportive (and, of course, any and all spam).

So … go to it! And if you want to follow the conversation, please don’t forget to make sure you’re subscribing to the comments.

(Btw, if you’re interested to hear what has been written on this blog on anorexia so far, here is the list.)

Here are a few things you may want to start out with:

  • Do you get enough support from people around you?
  • How do you deal with the roller coaster of recovering from anorexia?
  • Have you found a food plan that works for you?
  • How do you feel with the feeling of self-loathing that sometimes come up?
  • Do you have tips for finding (and staying with) the right therapist?
  • How long have you been in recovery?
  • What do you do when you can’t stop thinking about the food/weight?

PLEASE NOTE:

Due to the great success of this page, I have now created a new page on this site, to make the large comment/talk section a bit easier to manage. Please continue your discussion here.

(And another note: Any message on this page that seems even remotely like spam will be deleted. This is NOT a place to advertise.)

2,780 thoughts on “anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia

  1. Hannah

    Thanks so much for the advice…I’m just so worried about her because she has literally no support system, and I’m the only one who knows about it.
    I had anorexia 4 years ago and got down to 103lbs (I’m 5’4″) but my family was really supportive and helped me recover…and I didn’t have people telling me I was fat anymore. I just feel like if she continues to get this negative feedback from her boyfriend she won’t get better…but she sounded like she doesn’t plan on dumping him…

  2. Neko

    Your friend is very blessed to have you Hannah:). You are the start of her support system and I hope that she can find other people who will be supportive of her recovery.

    I am considering going back to counseling-just had to get that out of my system. Have a good night everyone.

  3. aliza

    i feel so bad. i am so fat.
    all i see is fat now. im not good enough for anyone. i need to lose 20 pounds. i dont care if im hurting myself.

  4. Neko

    hey Aliza,
    No matter what you see (think you see) or feel, you are beautiful both inside and out.<3 You have encouraged many people on this blog post myself included. I am struggling right now as well…I just don’t want to fight anymore. Then my more sensible side asks, “Neko, what was easier about feeling exhausted all the time and living on the edge of passing out? What was easy about lying to everyone and carrying the burden of it all and being angry and …(the list goes on)?” And yet even with all these complications, I can’t seem to quit this ED business. I believe that we all have a purpose in life but I feel very stuck. Part of me just wants to get on with my life but I just can’t seem to let this go. After much time, I still don’t understand why thin matters so much.

  5. Jen

    i hope your friend gets better … stay supportive for her:) and aliza your not fat at all your beautiful stop saying that about yourself you really dont deserve it<3

  6. Becky

    Hey girls..well i havent been here in so long. Lets see i left off ok but not great..things got better for a short while i re gained 8 lbs and was at 97 which was a very big deal for me the weight distribution sucked soo bad though my stomach felt like it was sucking it all up (the fat) that only lasted a while before i knew it i went from excercising just a bit more then going off the meal plan my doc gave me to now back were i was..i DONT want to be this way its not something i can switch on or off and thats what my family &frnds think that im choosing it but im not..which is why those ” tips & tricks” sites are a huge crock of crap..if you have tje choice &are able to make that decision for urself dont go with ana. Its taken yrs of my life & @ 20 its left me feeling much older..physically and emotionally. Im at 85 lbs right now. Not the lowest ive been but def unhealthy i know that. Basically i came here to let out some feelings ive been holding in..ive been feeling like so helpless..like ive lost control of myself like im living in a body that isnt mine and i just go thru the motions cuz i havd to..idk if this makes any sense to yall..i feel like my normal mood is sad and just dead pretty much im getting very used to that &its not good. I miss ballet so much..all i do is work but tthat keeps me busy enough i have some awesome frnds &fam but im not one to open up to ne one about my feelings especially when i know they wont understand. I keep all my feelings bottled up whivh makes it worse..im terrified to reach 100 lbs but i know i need to..soon too. I cant even think aboyt it w out it giving me crzy anxiety. Past couple months i just feel very alone ..like life is more of a chore than a gift. Its just not fun. Soo now im just rambling..i hope if yall read this you will give me some feed back on some of those deep feelings yall keep down ..and just how everyone is doing. Also meal plans? Id like to see what some of yalls are. And i have one big question im actually writting a paper on this topic sorta ok so are you a stress eater or starver OR binge&purger..meaning when you get into an argument w someone or bad day @ wrk/school .or just stressed do you just binge..or do you turn thay to your ed and just restrict/starve.OR do you b&p? ….okay i feel better getting all this of my sorry sio long and misspelled. Im writting from my phone sooo yeaaaa anyway thanks 4reading my nonsense talk…stay strong beauties xoxoxo

  7. Jen

    aw Becky its okay i know its hard trying to reach 100 pounds but once you do you feel like a stronger person like if you overcome that you can do anything and it wont be easy but find distractions with your friends and family and maybe getting a therapist is a good idea because its never fun hiding all those feelings thats what happened to me beofre i had no one to talk to and now i feel so much better when someone knows whats going on in my head(: just try to stay positive and keep good thoughts of gaining weight in your mind remember you have so much energy and you dont need to over eat or eat unhealthy but eat healthy foods like now i eat a lot of fruits and veggies and feel good about myself and for your report i used to restrict when i was stressed and id keep limiting myself to littler and littler food but now well at least for temporary ive overcome the thoughts and beat my ed and let me tell you its the best feeling in the world(: stay strong xoxo and im always here to talk

  8. Neko

    Hi Becky,
    For your paper: I was a restricter. Went to a nutritionist and started purging after I had to follow a meal plan. the purging went on and off for about a year…I never want to purge by throwing up again but to compensate I’ve have started restricting again:(…not as much as before but still I know it’s not healthy. I agree with you about feeling older inside and out;I’m 21. We all need a good ramble once in while:). <3

  9. aliza

    PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE,
    DONT YOU EVER EVER FEEL,
    LIKE YOURE LESS THAN
    YOURE FUCKING PERFECT

    PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE,
    IF YOU EVER EVER FEEL
    LIKE YOURE NOTHING
    YOURE FUCKING PERFECT

  10. alexandra

    i feel so awful, so down, so fat.
    i find myself eating normally, then restricting so so much to make up for it.
    my parents say i’m losing weight and i’m skin and bones now:/ which isn’t true
    i’m not allowed to have a scale.
    my friend says i act weird about my ed… i really DONT want people to find out, but she says people have noticed.
    i’m being sent to a psychologist who will probably send me to a dietician.
    I WANT TO FEEL OKAY. i’m not even asking to be happy, i just want to be OKAY.
    i want to feel good enough.
    i’m hurting so much, more than anyone realizes, but i feel like such an annoyance to everyone.

  11. Neko

    I just want to purge ( I am trying to perserve my teeth so I must resist)…so tired of feeling like this and feeling exhausted.I just want a day of guilt free eating. And I have been eating but somehow I’ve lost wieght. I fear I’ve just lost muscle and gained fat. Sigh. I’m sorry for such a down post- The weather here has been nice and spring like. That should make it (at least) a little better… I am on break from school and I want to to try to enjoy it but my to-do list keeps getting longer. I can’t seem to escape this feeling of pressure ( probably the real reason I want to purge) Meh. I feel like such a slacker too: not enough exercise and I don’t have any new work ready to submit for the student art show at school. plot on I must I guess…
    Hope you all have a good night:)

  12. Becky

    alexandra i know exactly how you feel about the eating normal (or what we consider normal) and then restricting like crazy to make up for all those cals we had..i also know what you mean about just wanting to feel ok..not even happy just ok. its not an easy thing at all i always think like why cant i just feel good? or content? its like theres always something wrong even if i cant put my finger on it. i think being anorexic we tend to over analyze things..thats all apart of it which i think drives us crazy. ive been going from about 81lbs- 91lbs the past couple months now and its just making me insane..i wish i could just pick in my brain and fix it but its so hard to figure out how to make it better..you never truly get over it even if you recover its still something that will always be in your head time to time..its like a scar. anyway stay strong and if you ever want to talk come on here..i know what you mean about feeling like you annoy ppl by this cuz ive always felt the same but trust me ur family cares..its something i feel ashamed of and just rather it b hidden but thats dangerous..your too important for that and beautiful. xoxo <3

  13. tong

    hey(: it’s been a really long long long time since i’ve visited the forum. ok i;m just going to rant from here on, sorry:(

    so i’m currently seeing this doctor every other week and they weigh me and stuff. but i’ve lost all the weight i’ve gained as inpatient and have been water loading at all my appointments. that’s nearly 5 kilos and seriously hurts like shit. i really really want to come clean with them about it, but if i do i’ll just get sent back in again, which is what i cannot afford to have. what do i do???
    another thing is that i’ve been restricting, keeping to less than 800cals. but when it comes to at night, i find myself feeling peckish once i eat something (which is dinner) so i usually grab something like a apple. but i always end up eating way more than i intend to, until i feel sick on the stomach, i won’t call it a binge, but i just can’t control the eating! i just ate 2 huge apples and this whole carton (maybe 500g?) of grapes when all i intended to eat was a few slices of apple to curb the peckish feeling. now i feel like throwing up. blehh

    sorry for the rant!

  14. alexandra

    i’m being sent to a psychologist and now i have to go to a specialist and a dietician in the city, cause this shit town doesn’t have treatment here. i’m so pissed off that i’m gonna have to go and get my weight scrutinized and get meal plans and everything. and i’m fucking SICK and TIRED of my psychologist trying to get me to tell him how i feel about myself and the way i look, he’s so frustrating. he says they can’t make a proper assessment until they find out whats in my head, but gahh he’s annoying! and i’m TRYING my hardest to eat, because of circumstances (well.. basic story is i live with my mom and my dad is threatening to drag me back to his house in the city if i lose any more weight). and i know that i don’t eat enough and i just CANT sometimes, like it’s so frustrating.. ahhh, i’m stuck in this like, pit of depression where i just can’t be good enough for anybody. if i gain weight, i will feel worse about myself. if i lose weight, my father will drag me to inpatient treatment. they’re all concerned and stuff because my bmi dropped from 22.7 to 17.8.. but honestly, 17.8 is high enough!!!
    sorrrry for ALWAYS CONSTANTLY ranting.. but i’m frustrated.

  15. Emma

    Hey I think I am anorexic…I’m not really sure what to do…like I know it’s bad but I can’t stop and I don’t know what to do any advice

  16. rynelle

    Hey everyone! so ive posted on here on and off for the last ohh….3 years i guess, wow. i havent been on a really really long time though so i dont think i know any of you atm. im almost 18 now and have been continuing to live in this horrible life of an eating disorder since i was about 13 or 14. my life is so empty compared to what it used to be. i myself feel so empty. ive made improvements over the last year on mindset and trying to have a more normal healthy view of the world. ive been trying to aim for healthier things and not let myself be convinced by my ed that i need to lose lose lose and restrict restrict restrict down to nothing. bcuz i know better… its never worth it. never. i try to push out that negative self talk and replace it with a healthier perspective but my habits just wont die. i cant seem to break free NO MATTER WHAT I DO AND HOW BADLY I WANT IT! it has this hold of me, as im sure you’ve all experienced. its messed up though… i actually find myself now being so scared to eat (anything other than my limited amount of “safe” foods) but at the same time so scared to not eat (cuz i know the awful path that takes you), that i purposely make myself binge and purge. my anxiety gets so out of control that i dont know what else to do so at the end of the day ill more often than not end up eating whatever i can even if i dont want to, even if im not craving it or feeling all that hungry, and then ill throw it up. i do it often bcuz i know that i wont lose weight as fast that way as i would if i didnt do it. when i dont binge and purge i eat so restrictively. its pretty ironic that im making myself sick in order to be as healthy as i can…. what a mess :/

    Emma- hey! have u just started thinking you might have a problem with this? being at that stage can be pretty scary, but i think its great u came on here to talk about it! this is a great site! have u told anyone in your life about whats going on?

  17. alexandra

    AH EASTER CHOCOLATE. :'(
    If part of my recovery is to ‘eat like I used to’ , according to my therapist… then easter chocolate must be eaten. even my parents want me to eat it. AGH, 🙁

    rynelle, welcome back:) I don’t think I’ve ever seen you on here, but I’m still pretty new heree! it’s good that you’ve improved your mindset a little bit and that you’re starting to be more conscious of the consequences of ed’s, I know it doesn’t seem like any big deal, but really its the first step to getting better once and for all. have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety? they might be able to do something to help you handle that. i know your anxiety revolves around food, but things can still be done to help. I’m seeing a therapist to help learn how to deal with my anxiety, as well as my issues with food, and i think they will help me in the long run.

    Emma – welcomeee 🙂 i’m proud of you for seeking help on this site. i think the first step to conquering this is, first of all, realizing you have a problem. what really helped for me was when i first starting being able to talk about it openly with people I trust: my family, a few friends, and my boyfriend. find someone who you can trust and let them know what is going on. chances are, they’ll be supportive in helping you recover. also, if you let your family know how you’re feeling towards food, your anxieties, and fears, then they will probably be less demanding for you to eat, if that is the case at all. you just have to keep hope and confide in someone and never give up, and you’ll be able to get out of this! i have faith in you

  18. alexandra

    is it normal to feel ‘safer’ eating at night?
    I feel weird because I hardly eat anything all day.. but I’ve been trying to fit in all my day’s calories at night?
    horrible, I know..

  19. Neko

    Night is dark…I used to really hate eating with other people or having people see me eat. When I lived at home, I used to stash safe food in my car. I’d snack while driving because no one could see me. I do eat throughout the day but I do find it easier at times to still eat at night.
    Forgive my rambling and typos…I must scream someplace because I’m frustrated with waivering between wanting to “be normal” and continuing in the destructive patterns. I’ve lost weight…secretly its what I wanted but I pretend it isn’t so. I want to think I am more satisfied with myself this way then being a weight of 3 figures. And I don’t just want to lose weight, I want to lose body fat. In the end, my head and heart both know numbers don’t matter. I keep obsessing. I can’t remember what it’s like to not obsess, so I continue. I am exhausted on every level. My stress and anxiety levels are through the roof…I must come to some resolution.

  20. Jenice Barrow

    Thanks for your post. One of the better blogs I’ve come across. Do you care if I shoot you a quick email about your design? I’ve included my address in the field if you could give me a minute.

  21. Maura djinn

    hello, im new to this. i had anorexia for only about six months, but was pretty damn good at it. i went from 5″1 120lbs to 84lbs. sinse then, with being threatened to be put in a cage and forced food, i was forced to gain weight on my own. no plan just eat,eat, eat. i gained well. went back up to 120, sinse then i have lost weight in a healthy manor. i am not between 110- 106lbs. i eat very healthy. mostly veggies and lean meat. peanutbutter is my main fat sourse. although my body is healthy and sound now, i still have and anorexic mindframe. i think of food all the time. im not addicted to in in anyway.(in fact it would be fantastic if the human body didnt need it.) eating is boring and unenjoyable to me. but i still am constantly thinking of how much should i eat today, how much did i burn off? im fairly active, and enjoy life emensly. but this clinging mindframe of having to burn off the food intake. i do not like feeling like i didnt burn off everything at the end of the day. i get nervious, and angry. i beat anorexia physically but can i ever win mentally?

  22. Emily

    Hi, I’m not anorexic, but my really amazing friend is. She was for about a year, became 82 pounds, and everyone was very scared for her. Her parents finally got her therapy and set her up on eating plans. She doesn’t eat in the lunch room, the nurses have to watch her eat. She gets these terrible stomach pains after she eats, though. She says she wants to make herself throw up afterwards to get rid of the food and the pain. Is this common, is there anything she can take or do to help this? Because I’m scared she’s just going to plunge right into something even worse.

  23. Jody

    Hey everyone,

    Just wondering if anyone is a recovered anorexic but now struggles with the other end of the spectrum…..weight gain and overeating? It’s not in my head, doctor’s tell me I need to lose a few pounds. In my teen years I weighed 106lbs at 5’8 and I am now 190lbs after having my son when I was 21. I am 30 now. I suffer from hormonal imbalances, inability to lose weight, infertility, amongst other things. Funny thing is, is that alhough I am considered overweight now I still have the same health problems as when I was anorexic…..missed periods, low blood pressure, anemia, and now have signs of osteopenia(pre-cursor to osteoporosis). Is anyone else suffering with this too? Just wondering if everything ties in to each other.

  24. Nature

    Hi everyone.

    I used to be a regular poster here when I was stuck in my ED a few years ago. I don’t think I know any of you at the moment, either, but I’d just like to let everyone know that recovery IS possible. It is a very constant battle, and a difficult one at that. It takes a very long time to just even get out of unhealthy eating habits and to start eating consistent meals. The physical side of recovery is of course not the only thing you have to come to terms with. The emotional and mental aspect of recovery is just as daunting and can be even more challenging to deal with. As such, it is a very difficult and personal battle, as we all are dynamic individuals who react to and process things very differently.

    I developed an eating disorder when I was 14. I am turning 19 this year, and to tell you the truth, dealing with the thoughts and emotional aspect of it can still be hard. Nonetheless, I am in a much better place right now. Even if it makes you feel like shit to eat momentarily, it will be worth every bit in the long run. I know how it feels to be in that dark place where you feel that you don’t even deserve food or that you’re not beautiful enough—physically and internally —to be worthy of recovering. I know I am just a stranger to you all, but I just want to let you know that you are worth it. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re not because you deserve just as much as everyone.

    I’d love to post on a consistent basis here like I used to before, but life has gotten quite busy for me. If anyone would ever like to talk to someone about anything, please feel free to contact me on Skype or MSN. Just let me know you’re from the site, so I know you’re not a bot 😛 .

    MSN: fluffy235_181elf@hotmail.com
    Skype: e-fletcher

  25. Kayla luckett

    I hate this. I wish no one would have to deal with this, it ruins you forever. You may think your better, but this is something you can’t snap out of. Everything about anorexia ruins your life, and relationships too. I don’t want to See anyone struggle it’s so sad..

  26. april

    Hi. I am new here n I am dealing with anorexia…I want to recover so badly n I am seeing a dietician…but I can’t follow my meal plan. I am scared. I want to eat but I’m just scared that I will gain too much too quickly. My dietician says there is no way on the meal plan but I have a hatd time trusting people. Should I just jump in and follow it? Any advice?

  27. Jemma

    Hello Guys
    I used to use this website for my recovery with Anorexia and I have come such a long way… I have times do not get me wrong, and when I have a bad time with something my eating tends to get the brint of it.. But on the whole I am getting there… I neatrly died and hope none of you have to go throughb what I did, and recovery and a life is so much more enjoyable and worth while than what Anna can get…
    Id love tp be able to help anyone who has questions about how I got better and stratergies that i used to cope with every day recovery… Things dont happen over night and it has taken me about 4 years to get to a stable weight (still under weight but better than where I was ) but I am there and I wuoldnt change it for the world…
    Eat well be happy and most of all be healthy

  28. Jemma

    Oh and Hello again aliyah… Hope you are well and by the posts you have written can still see you are being a great support to others… I hope you are still strong and recovery is still your only option… xxx

  29. Jemma

    Wow, I havent been on here for a LONNNNGGG time and now I am writing 3 times in a couple of minutes haha.. I have been looking back at my old posts (I was called “you can do it”)… and it brings a tear to my eye… How full of hope and drive… and I thought wow havent I done welll but actually I am still in the same place as 3 years ago! I was just 8 stone then and now i am 7stone 13…. So think I have let things slip… I cant seem to get past the 8 stone barrier I shoudl be 10 to be at a healthy weight…. But I am still so proud of myself that I havent gone down the slippery slop of falling further… I am like a bouy in the sea… I bob up and down but most of the time I am at a steady pace and generally at the same weight…. But I know i have to go more but I do stuggle… I do not believe She will ever leave my side and will niggle at me from time to time… But I rule er… Annna does not rule me now…I will get there… And since all my troubles started I ave not been on holiday and next Monday I am off to Italy with my boyfriend.. .still the same as before… but we have now been together 6years… hes my rock and so is my mum and nan…. without there support i wouldnt be here and i am so greatfull for all their hard work and love for me…
    Anyway I will not post another one for a little while now… give you all time to catch up! and read my essays… haha….
    Like I said Id love to be a support for any of you who need that bit of help… or just answers or to rant to…
    thank you
    Jemma

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