Comments on: anorexia talk – for people recovering from anorexia

By: aliyah

aliyah — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:56:16 +0000

nicola- yes i know, its hard for people to understand how u feel of course, such as ur mum but u shud try ur best to talk as much as u can, and sometimes it helps to make u see that ur thinking is sometimes irrational.
fore example ages ago when i was really thin, i ate three little sweets and felt bad all day. my bf asked me whats up and i said ‘i ate loads of sweets’ and he went ‘ how many is loads?’ and i went 3. and then as i said i realised how ridiculus it is, how can 3 sweets make me fat? it cannot, and it never will, not even 30 sweets.

so just try to keep strong,and good luck on ur weigh in. i used to hate them, but just think the sooner u get ur weight REgained the sooner u wont have to do this.
and if u resort to any ana, it will hold u back and pro long this agony.

good luck! ull be alright dont worry x

By: Nicola

Nicola — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:49:02 +0000

thanks aliyah yeah it is good my mum is there, but when i feel like i am feeling now, i cant talk to her.
I just feel regaining makes you feel fat, its scary now because i can actually feel my own body..if that makes sense

and if i say to my mum this way i know she cant understand
i think i am probably getting stressed because i am getting weighed tomorrow :O
and if i dont put on some, i ament allowed to go out with my friends this weekend :’(
i hate feeling this way

By: aliyah

aliyah — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:51:10 +0000

nicola- u are doing very well! be proud, and take each day as it comes. ur meal plan may feel like a lot but thats what ur body really needs, itrs crying for it, so dont deprive it. It will speed up ur metabolism, and ull get to a stage where ur weight will stabalise and remain there
i used to feel the same like all my clothes are getting tighter, but its actually partly ana, like if i ate a large meal id be like omg my clothes are all too tight, and they actually werent its just anas way to get u to eat less.

stay strong try some tasty foods u like, nice choccies and sweets and stuff and stick in some healthy thingsand u will be fine, its fabb u have ur mums support.
all the best , x

By: Nicola

Nicola — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:01:17 +0000

hey, just to say to everyone keep on staying strong to beat ana, i know i am trying really hard,
for monday and tuesday of this week i got so upset, i still need to sit out in p.e and just watch everyone else play and have fun i hate it, ive had to do that since about September . And got really upset in school about the whole thing, but i talked to my mum and she told me to stay positive and look how far i have come, and then on wednesday and thursday i tried to stay as positive as i could and i got on so much better , i know i will still have down days but i will just need to take it as it comes.

I am still working on tackling “forbidden foods” it was a big step for me just trying a few bites of pizza, and maybe next time i will manage a few bites more.

I am managing to eat in the lunch hall twice a week at the moment and i got into a room, away from everyone with maybe just one friend the other days, and i know it is just a progress and i will then increase my days in the lunch hall

it makes me happy seeing how far i have come, but i know sometimes i do still get upset it i feel my legs are fat or i am greedy , because i do sometimes feel like that, and i dont like when my clothes feel tighter on me, but everyone is saying just stay strong nicola, you are doing so well and you have lovely colour in your face now.

Now its just time until my periods come back..then hopefully i will be off this menu plan that consits of soo much :/ xxx

By: aliyah

aliyah — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:42:41 +0000

carrie- can i also say exercise, laxatives, bineging = serious metabolism slow down.

make it, eating every few hours with snacks + a little bit of very light exercise or none at all + eating when u feel urges and when u want to= fast metabolism. and a stable weight + stable emotions.

By: aliyah

aliyah — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:39:39 +0000

kayla- i know that feeling, the t hinness gives u the sense of control as if u have achieved something, but really u havent. all u have done is make urself closer to death!
just try to look at it from a different viewpoint, your recovering, and ur doing so well, that is a huge achievemenet, but along the way u have reapired ur body a lot, and uve let urself enjoy some food! that is amazing, u havent let urself become a statistic ,to be one of the many anorexics who die. no u have reversed that, and yes u will feel bad some days, but dont let the emotions control you.
im sure u see urself as bigger than u really are, and dont be hard on how u look , buy things to flatter u, its a great exuse for shopping!
theres nothing to gain from losing weight, theres a woman on this site who through all the years of food control, has serious kidney problems now, and has to wait for a transplant!
would u not rather be healthy, and remembr ur at the LOWEST end of healthy, than stick thin and at risk for death?
i know where i stand on that arguement!
x

By: aliyah

aliyah — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:35:19 +0000

Carrie- i know its very hard to break the cycle, throw away the laxatives, and dont push urself too much ine xercise. the problem is ur hormones are controlling your binge-purge cycles, ive read up a lot on this, and it only makes u feel worse, and then that pushes u to do it agen to try and get ‘control’. but really uare not in control here its ana, telling u to do these things.
i used to be the exact same, and i got so sick of the cycle i just stopped gradually, i was tired of feeling rubbish 24/7, plus bingeing and purging makes ur metbaolism slower, so u need to really stop.
the best way, and if u follow this it will help is to eat more during the day so u dont go for a binge at night, usually when u binge it means u are hungry. Also u need a lot of food inr ecovery, so some days ur goin to want to eat a lot, and u need to let urself, if u take a laxative after,. ur back to stage one, and ull end up bingeing again.
its not easy and it takes time, but it can be done, u need to be really strong.
u shud come on and write on this more , get ur meotions out, but dnt let them control you.
and u will see a difference, all the best x

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:10:20 +0000

Carrie- You are NOT a failure!!!!!!!!!!!! Recover is ups and downs, the good and the bad,. You do not go straight froward, at times you can take bounds an leaps forwards and the next day degress twenty steps back. One tip I learned in group therapy was recovery is SUPPOSED toi be hard, you will mess up. Recovery is like life, no one does it perfectly! However use how you feel RIGHT NOW! You are mad at yourself for taking that laxative, it was NOT worth it! Slip ups will occur less and less often you use ur feelings of anger and shame when you want to take another laxative. In group I slipped up BAD! I bingedand purged so badly I did not eat all day then had a normal portioned dinner- then binged for an hour and vomitted till my nose bled, and I mean poured! It did that alot at the end when I would not use my hands to vomit.
Gosh I was so sick, I used to think I was COOOOL becasue I had this incredible talent of making myself throw up. I trained my stomach muscles to throw up independently, it was faster and quieter. Wow, my mind was so messed up. lol

By: carrie

carrie — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:38:04 +0000

Melissa-
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I loved being the thinnest in the room. I used to feel like my body was perfect and that’s where all my confidence came from. Now I just don’t know…

aliyah-
That actually makes a lot of sense. My hormones are definitely not at normal levels. I get bad migraines too, and this might be one of the causes. I know I need to stop the cycle, but it’s so hard. When I was anorexic, I would fast all day and eat a lot of vegetables for dinner. I would eat until i was stuffed. Now, i try to eat more throughout the day, but Im still stuck in the habit of eating a whole lot at night, until im stuffed. I think this is where the binging comes from, because instead of binging on vegetables, I binge on sweet foods.

You guys I’m trying so hard, but it’s not working. I’ve been going to the gym a lot. It makes me feel better about myself. Today I did so well. I burned 450. I felt good. I went to dinner with my dad and ate so healthy, and then I came home and binged on brownies my mom had made. I freaked out and took a laxative. I had been doing so well! I havent taken laxatives in a couple weeks and my progress was destroyed within one minute. I just feel like crying. I don’t know what to do, I just feel like the biggest failure.

By: aliza

aliza — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:33:09 +0000

see? i fail at everything i try.