This is a special new area for people who want to have a small, intimate place to discuss anorexia. It was born via the rather long comment section in an article here on this site about 10 activities that help with recovering from anorexia. I know there are other sites out there who are very good at helping people with anorexia talk to each other; Somethingfishy is the best example. I certainly don’t want to take away from sites like this; they’ve proven invaluable for people who are trying to overcome anorexia.
However, for those of you who want to stay here, I’d like to provide this space where you can talk.
Please be aware that this area is visible to anyone who cares to visit; if privacy is important to you, please use an alias.
This is a place of support and respect, a place for sharing your journey in recovering from anorexia. I will remove any comment that is disrespectful or unsupportive (and, of course, any and all spam).
So … go to it! And if you want to follow the conversation, please don’t forget to make sure you’re subscribing to the comments.
(Btw, if you’re interested to hear what has been written on this blog on anorexia so far, here is the list.)
Here are a few things you may want to start out with:
- Do you get enough support from people around you?
- How do you deal with the roller coaster of recovering from anorexia?
- Have you found a food plan that works for you?
- How do you feel with the feeling of self-loathing that sometimes come up?
- Do you have tips for finding (and staying with) the right therapist?
- How long have you been in recovery?
- What do you do when you can’t stop thinking about the food/weight?
PLEASE NOTE:
Due to the great success of this page, I have now created a new page on this site, to make the large comment/talk section a bit easier to manage. Please continue your discussion here.
(And another note: Any message on this page that seems even remotely like spam will be deleted. This is NOT a place to advertise.)
heyyy
so tell me about urself and ur ED
hello everybody…
i am a recovered anorexic. I am pretty young, in the low teen years and about 5 feet. my lowest weight was about 70 pounds. It started when i was overweight as a kid, my mom would always try to push me away from food. i hated it so one day i decided to get healthier. i did a great job and was losing weight in a very healthy way, but then it caught up with me. it was like a competition to lose more and more weight. i saw therapists and nutritionists…….didnt do a thing for me, but i somehow self recovered within a year. I DID IT! but now i am 2 years older and 115 pounds….i feel overweight, short (probobly because of my food deprivation as a child), and depressed. I am now experiencing all the things that went wrong in my body within that year and a half of starving myself. i feel fat and want to lose weight. its true once an anorexic always one. i still have all my past thoughts in the back of my head. i alwyas count calories and excercise excessivly…..but now i feel like i overeat and am unhealthy…. what do i do now?
to please,
You are so smart to come on here! I am a lot like you in that I did better once I went back to college and stopped seeing my therapists, although they had helped a lot and I recovered way quickly too. Right now, you need to tell yourself that you are not overweight. You are at a healthy weight and should fight to stay there.
I found that making meals as a part of normal life crucial in remaining recovered (I’ve been at a healthy weight for 6 months now)! I always tell myself that if I eat too little I could lose more bone mass (I have osteoporosis from anorexia), won’t be able to concentrate on school, will be depressed again, and
DUH DUH DUH lower my metabolism. Remember, if you don’t eat your body slows down, so eating often when you’re hungry keeps it up. It’s a very good thing. Your body does NOT want you to starve. That’s probably why you overeat. Or you don’t. ..those like us sometimes can’t tell the difference.
If you want, I can send you my email or a.i.m. sn and we can help each other stay recovered. I’m great now, but I’m always on guard like you.
Take care
thanks Catherine
the whole support thing would be wonderful, i really want to feel like a normal person and not always have to think about it. i just want to be a healthy, happy teenager.
I would love to help you get through this! When I was recovering I wish I had someone to write to. Hmm I’m wondering how I can get you my email and whatnot without posting it. Any ideas guys? I’m 20 yrs. old and only got hit with this stuff last year, but I’m still a teen at heart! Plus, everyone deserves to be a healthy and happy teenager.
hey everybody…..this is “please”
i feel a little more comfortable about this now….well once again everday is a struggle and i just find myself dieting again beacuse now that i weigh like a normal teenager i feel fat. i just always have to feel like i am thinner than everyone else….even if its a bad thing. it eases all my troubles and makes me more confident
I’m sitting in my livingroom watching my daughter sleep. She’s home from college for the weekend and is taking a nap. She is working so hard at recovery, but I can see at times it’s such a struggle. I asked her this morning if there was anything I could do to help her, but she said there was nothing. She tells me my love and support are enough, yet looking at her tiny body just is so difficult. I love her with my whole heart and soul and do my best never to make her feel my pain. I just hope I’m doing enough. I guess I need to know from you all… what is the most helpful thing a Mom can do? I don’t want to ignore the situation, but I also don’t want our whole relationship to focus on it. I just have days when I feel so helpless and alone. My daughter is an incredible young woman and makes me so proud. Thanks for listening!
Love to all of you!
Pat
awww you are, love is the way foward
my mums the same she does everything to help me along the way
nd i willll get to the healthy stage i hope
daisy, do you not maybe want to try a counceller or therapist, and get all your worries out , im im recovery, i dont know how it feels to be recovered
to Aliyah, i tried the whole therapy thing it just makes me feel worst..i really hope you get through it, just really work on it….little by little…you’ll feel so amazing and free..it feels good to be able to have a normal life again. minor relapse is always going to be there for a person who once had anorexia…you just have to let it breeze by.
To Pat,
as a young daughter that went through this eating disorder…i know that my mom went through a lot of pain and nights of crying. please be strong for your daughter, understand that she has this as a mental issue too, its not just wanting to skip a few meals, give her time because the less you push her and let her open up the easier it will get for her.
thanks for all the support you’re giving each other.
as a therapist, of course i’m curious to hear how therapy does and does not work for people. i’m really sorry that therapy made you feel worse.
if that therapist asked you what she or he could have done differently, what would you say?
Hi My Name is Emily.
I am a recovering anorexic. i have been home from my inpatient program now for almost two months. but, in that time my metabolism has shot up and lowered way down. at first it was over 2000 calories, and then we keep having to lower my meal plan and now it is around 1300, i know that is not normal for a teenager. Is that normal to fluctuate as an anorexic?… should i try to eat more? i am eating five meals a day, and exercising regularly. is there something wrong with me?
hi emily, and welcome to this blog!
what are your doctor and/or nutritionist saying?
our nutritional needs vary very much with age, activity level, weight, etc. generally, 1,300 calories for a teenager is on the low side.
if your BMI is low (which it would be for many people who were in inpatient treatment for anorexia only 2 months ago), then it would make sense to eat more rather than less.
To daisy- aww thanks, its relaly hard. right now im on a basic meal plan, but i feel so fat and horrible and bloated a lot of the time. how long did it take for your metabolism to set in, and get faster? I think you should try to feel positiv about yourself, maybe write down a list of all your achievments, you;ve recovered anorexia, if you can do that you can do anything!
you should be proud of yourself, and every one feels fat, its normal, you just need to tell yourself, you’re not goin to let it get in the way, If you eat healthily and exercise regulary, you have nothing to worry about.
and u have everyones support on this
hey emily, forstly well done on sorting out anorexia
secondly, i think you should speak to your doctor/nutrionist about this, they will know best.
do u have a mealplan? if so make sure you stick to it.
you could try things like green tea, its supposed to help speed up metabolism.
x
i actually don’t believe that i’ve been seriously anorexic, but i’ve been dealing with “disordered eating” for about three years now. i’m 5’7 and 110 lbs, which is low but not dangerously so. i don’t fixate on food, but when i’m nervous or upset, i don’t like eating. skipping meals makes me feel good, although i know that sounds weird. i’ve never engaged in the calorie-counting or weight-watching aspects of eating disorders.
i’m actually gaining weight now, which i’ve been trying to do for a long time. however, i’m finding that it’s making me upset in ways that i didn’t anticipate. while looking in the mirror i think i’d look better if i weighed a little more, it feels really weird to have fat on my stomach. when i’m gaining weight it seems to all end up there, which makes me…uncomfortable? i guess? i’m hoping that if i keep the weight, it’ll get more distributed around my body. and yeah, i guess i’m hoping that someone here who’s had to gain weight can tell me how they reacted to it, physically and emotionally. part of me wants to just stop eating and make it go away.
thanks so much for any help.
heyy starcat well well done for trying to recover first
and yeah ino how weight gain feels, right now im supposed to put on a pound a week, sometimes its more sometimes less. Its soo frustrating, all m weight has gone to my stomach, which just looks like a constant puffball!
but my nutrionist says, if you keep eating regulary, ur metablism will speed up and this phase will pass, so im sure it;ll be the same for you!
do you want to see a nutrionist or someone?
xx
Hi
Um this is the first time ive tried to do something like this.
Im 5ft 8 and 116 pounds
My mom doesnt understand all she does is force food on me. I can manage 2 meals a day and up to 3 sugary teas a day.
But when i look in the mirror i still see an ugly worthless fat cow, im worried these thoughts will take over again and I dont want that to happen i know its not good for me
help
heyy princess
ino how you feel, my anorexia made me feel worthless and restcritced my eating. You have to see you are an unhealthy weight for your height. You will bring on so many risks like osteoporosis, and i bet you’re feeling cold a lot and unhappy.
and the only way to sort this, is get help. its the best thing i ever did!
its a scary thought, but even if you just go to your gp, or maybe tell your mum how you;re feeling, she is concerned about you
good luck x
how can i tell my mum all this stuff that goes on in my head she wont understand and i dont want to upset her! she has enought to worry about at the moment.
when i look in the mirror i dont feel like i look unhealthy i feel fat and i try to push it away but then dinner or breakfast comes and i hate what im looking at and if i eat it i hate myself
ino exactly how you feel, i have had anorexia for a long time, and i still feel fat, everyt time i eat. But i realise theres more to life than sittin thinking im fat all the time.
if you feel you cant talk to your mum, which ino is really hard, you need to find someone close to you,you can tell. what your experiencing, every anorexia, or does. You are not alone.
and you have to think, and be honest, do i want to get better and be healthy and go out for meals and eat what i want, or do i want to restrict more and more then end up in hospital being fed through a tube.
im always here to help, but you do need to tell someone, even the doctor or a close friend?
everybody i feel horrible again i want to cry…i cant live like this i have to do it id rather be thin..i dont know what to do
breath, daisy, breathe …
i’m looking at your last post.
you know what it feels like to feel free. you know what it feels like to lead a normal life.
hold on to that memory.
you can have it again.
we’re here for you.
Hi Daisy
maybe we should help each other through this I am struggling with trying to be healthy to but we have to do it for our own sake, deep down we both know it will be worth it in the long run.
we both have to be strong ill help you stay stong if you help me.
princess1 i am so up for support and helping you get through this as well. theres just too much around, reminding me of what my mind is telling me to do ans what my body is. nobody understands what i am dealing with, my family and friends…they just want me to eat but its not as easy as just that
I know how your feeling, there’s so much pressure my mum has been trying to watch me eat at the table now and all i can feel is eyes burning into me!
im trying to eat more but there is still something inside my head that wants me to punish myself for eating so much.
I went to see a concert on saturday and all my friends were drinking and eating and i wanted so much to just be happy like them but when i looked at the plate i just saw my thighs getting bigger etc
In the end I ended up saying i wasnt hungry as I was to excited and my friends finished off the meal.
I had a bad weekend and no amount of talking to any doctor can change the way my mind is working hmm maybe i need a new brain or something?
hi princess1, just thought i’d check in. how are things going for you?
also a friendly wave to daisy, aliyah, starcat, pat catherine and please.
Hello everyone. i am the sister of a girl with anorexia. it is very scary and im pretty new to it. she just started to admit she has a problem and she has all the symptoms. since most people commenting on here have had eating disorders i think this is the best way for me to educate myself. how should i deal wiht her? should I try to talk to her about it? please help me!
well there has been news since i last posted a comment. we did talk but i just cant seem to convince her she is not fat and a little weight will not ruin her running career. she is a very very good runner and has even gone as far a federations. but she is not happy and i can tell. it hurts me to look at her and i just wish she could eat and be happy again. it has been so long i have forgotten when the last time she really had fun was and the last meal she has eaten. she says she just wants to be happy but not gain any weight but i am worried about what that could do to her. i realize she might have complications trying to get pregnent or she could get serioulsy ill. since most of you are going through wat she is can you give me advice and help me know what to tell her. i feel like she realizes how hurt i am and i am trying to stay strong and not cry infront of her but is that the right way to go about this. please help!
heyy just feel i need to express sumf eelings
i feel so bd just now,recovery seems impossible
its so draining and daunting.
mealtimes re suprislingly ok, its just i hate my body.
my body image seems to be gettin worse s i eat more
help
i cant do this I want to be skinny and leaving this group I need to be skinny again. its all i can think about know one can convince me im not fat I can see it when i look in the mirror! a big fat cow
lately it has been better. we talk but i still feel like im not getting through to her. she is not fat and i wish she would realze tht. since most of you are anorexic answer this. how come you feel like your fat when your not. and who is it you are worried would care if you looked what you think is fat but what everyone else sees as super skinny? helppppp.
princess1 – you are not fat. you are not a cow. do not worry about how you look. i can tell just by your comment that you are unhappy. dont be unhappy please! i am a not skinny but healthy looking girl but i am happy. i can work out and eat without questioning myself to much and i am here to tell you there is hope. you will be okay and i am proof that being happy feels so good. i want my sister to be happy and i want you to also. you dont need to impress anyone as long as you are happy.
the person in my head tells me im fat!
it tells me to loose weight and shows me weight gain!
just one more pound it never stops!
every pound brings pleasure and pain as its not enough
your suster needs to be admitted to hospital she has a mental condition like most of us and it needs to be shut down!
i am fat
fat fat fat a big fat cow
hi guys, it’s isabella.
i’d like to share something with you.
at a support group where i meet, there is a guideline: “when you share, please focus on recovery. focus on what will help you and others move forward.”
do you think that would work here, too?
I am 20 years old and currently suffering from anorexia, its hard becaues i want to recover and i want to gain I just cant seem to do it. Everytime after i eat something that i wouldnt normally i feel guilty and awful … so bad that i get a burning feeling in my stomach. I want to recover so badly i am so thin right now that i cant even find a pair of jeans that arnt baggy. Does anyone have any suggestions to get over the fear that i am facing right now? i want to get better just cant seem to do it. Everyone in my life says just dont think about what your eating just eat it but they dont understand the mental aspect of eating for me. Any suggestions would help thanks.
yeah im recovering nd i still get guilty feelings
i strongly urge you to see your doctor n get councelling. thats what i did, and its helping me slowly.
slowly but surely i am gettin better. i could never find jeans or clothes to fit me, but slowly i am now, and its a hard struggle but ino its worth it.
and the eating but is the smallest part of recovery, the rest is the important. for me its my self image, and how ipercive myself. you need someone to talk it through and help you with
good luck! you cn do it
x
i relapsed today i ate laods and felt so bad i threw it all up again now i feel crap
awww relapses are a normal and natural part of recovery
you should try to keep yourself occupied after a meal, for 40 mins or so in order to prevent yourself from purging. such as studying, goin for a walk or talkin on the fone to someone.
try not to feel bad, use the feelings its given you- makin u feel bad and crap to prevent you doing it from next time
i feel crappy cause i had a really big dinner, but i sat on the internet and read up the negative effects anorexia can have on my health and body to stop me from throwin up
and it worked
you should try it
xx
they say when you’re recovering you are supposed to be extra sure to eat many small meals a day right? but how do u manage that? i have such a hard time getting myself to eat that often and so i usually end up eating one meal a day…one that is way to large.
its a question of if you dont eat it you’ll be ill thats what I tell myself eating is making me better and beautiful like the thoughts from ana but reversed!
ana makes u feel fat if you eat i look at it like if i eat this ill be slim and healthy todday although i have to convince myself for about 45mins to eat something but i do end up eating it.
Aliyah, thaks for the advice i had breakfast and walked my dog for 30mins it took my mind off what i’d just eaten as i was running around with my dog and plating with him.
thanks for the advice x
princess 1- aww thats sooo good. keep it up!
ryanelle- you should try and see a nutrionist, mines helped me devise 3 small meals with snacks inbetween. so i have a small brekafast, lunch n dinner at set times, and snacks at set time
x
i know i have to eat to be healthy which is what i really want more than anything…im a dancer and if you dont eat right you can get seriously injured. bcuz of my disorder i have already had some minor injuries which i need to take care of properly…but every minute of life is a struggle against myself. sometiems its the hardest thing to go against what a huge part of me is saying which is to not eat. often if i have food infront of me that i know i should eat i will sit there forever looking at it, unable to do anything at all..i cant eat it but i cant not eat it..its so frustrating i dont know wat to do, i just feel myself wanting to cry
i also just started going to a dietition who specializes in eating disorders..she is really nice, i feel more open with her than my actual therapist.. we have only had one meeting so far though. the first goal she set for me was to drink at least 2 glasses of milk a day but i havent been able to do that bcuz since i started eating again my stomach seems to be really sensitive to alot of things, such as milk. i have been told it is all in my head but idk..
awwwww ino hpow you feel there, i had a time, where my anorexia was so bad i no i had to do something. and constantly i had two opposing voices in my head ”EAT ” and ”DNT EAT U FAT UGLY COW” . but isaw as i ate the voice calmed down, i thought of all the positive things i have to look foward too, for you think of ur dncing future nd how you dont want it ruined.
Would you rather be in hospital or at home sick, and injured and unable to dance, nd wishing you had ate, or be dancing ?
its hard, but you can do it!
wel maybe you should attempt half a glass of milk at least.
it doesnt matter who you feel close to as long as you are able to open up to some1 thats great
Aliyah has a point hun think positivly and it will be ok : )
we all have our good and shit days bu its worth it in the long run! if we carry on there are so many things that will go wrong you cant have kids your insides fail etc its worth eating to stay healthy better yet your saying a big FUCK U to the voice in your head!
yeah thankyou. one of the biggest reasons i started trying to recover was bcuz of the dancing…i was getting to a point where the teachers didnt feel comfortable with me dancing and doing jumping exersizes and things that involved alot of cardio..soon id be sitting out instead of dancing. those voices are exactly what is in my head but it seems as one gets louder saying i should eat, the other one comes right along with it screaming out how fat i am and that i dont deserve the things food can give me.
the half a glass idea is a good one.
my stomach is so wierd lately…i get these really severe pains. they sort of feel like hunger but im never sure bcuz they are really painful and sometimes its even after iv eaten something that it comes. i also get them sometimes only like two or three hours after eating, even if it was a good meal..size and nutrition wise. im never sure what to do. if its hunger i dont know why and i dont want to eat seeing as how i just did and i dont want to be over eating. any suggestions? has this ever happend to you?